So here we are, another restart. Sometimes a sabbatical and a mid-life crisis can do you some good. And sometimes a good movie or two also.
I watched The Imitation Game the other day, and have been doing a good year and half worth of thinking about the next phase of my life. Listened to some Tony Robbins CD’s on and off. Gotten into some interesting, thought provoking and sometimes controversial discussions with people on the internet.
I’ve spent most of my life trying to live other people’s dreams. Being told by society and well meaning people what I should do with my life, and what is important, and even what to say and not say.
I’ve accomplished some really cool things. I’ve also made some mistakes.
I spent a majority of my life giving to others expecting nothing in return, and then became disillusioned when I had nothing to show for it in my own personal success. Got stabbed in the back a few times, had what I worked so hard for taken away. So I retreated into my shell, to lick my wounds and analyse what just happened.
What has always made me great is that I give and I respect and I do my best to make people’s lives better. But if you don’t apply that same giving and respect and generosity to yourself, it becomes a great burden. So, in this phase of my life, I shall be more balanced, giving to others, but also giving to myself, and allowing myself to receive.
My mission in life has always been to make the world a better place. And I often find it frustrating that some people don’t care about that, they only care about themselves or their group. But that is all the more reason why I should carry on, despite resistance to the contrary.
I am not a perfect man. Never was. But like all people, I have a gift, and for me that gift is my ability to think deeply, connect ideas, and then articulate them into words. Other people have other gifts, different gifts. But this one is mine.
In high school, someone once told me “you think differently than other people, and sometimes that creates misunderstandings.” And that is the curse that comes with this gift. A curse that I must live with.
Some people are not going to understand, going to make assumptions, and ultimately say mean things based on what they think I said, rather than what I am trying to convey.
This can be overwhelming, especially when it feels directed at you unjustly.
But like in the movie The Imitation Game, where Alan Turing built his machine to decode the NAZI Enigma code, sometimes personal sacrifices must be made and challenges overcome to accomplish what is really important.
And for me, what is really important is that we move towards a society and a world where we love one another, and treat each other with respect and dignity, and encourage people to shine and live the peaceful lives they want.
To change the world, you must change yourself, and once you change yourself, you can change others.
I’m tired of hiding. Tired of trying to fit in.
It’s time to make a difference in the world, and at the same time, create a great life for myself.
With love, may your future be filled with love and prosperity.